Creeping on back.

Last night I started getting that crappy feeling back again. I'm not sure why, because I want to be happy, and I should be happy, but right now I'm not. So obviously the feeling has continued into today.

The place is becoming a mess, I've been too lazy to clean it, I keep chatting online last night. I'll probably clean up a bit tonight. The trash needs to go out too. :(

Last night was kinda fun in retrospect though. I had another allergy attack and took some more benadryl. Man, that was potent. I don't know what the deal was, but I was seriously knocked out. I woke up again at like 1am or so with and IM on my window about 'no more phone' or something like that and it made me go "wtf"? And the pills were still pretty potent so I was all spaced out and tripping over my typing. But I managed to write a book in response to an IM and when I reread it I was thought to myself 'damn you're lucky you didn't fuck that one up man' but I read it about 10 times before sending it. Heckuva wait on the other end. I remember most of what it was and what it was about, and I remember what my response was, sort of. I know what I said but I'm not quite keen on the exact wording. Ah well, it's no biggie.

I'm still surprised at how hard those pills hit me. I can only imagine how I looked. Sitting there propped up against the couch with my mouth hanging open. I woke up sweatty too, yuck. Then of course, as I say bye in the IM, someone else pops up to say hey, so I conversed with them for a bit.

Didn't get to bed until 1:30 or so. But hey, no regrets.

Work is stressing me out... People are expecting me to pull things out of my ass that just won't fit.

Annnnd I need to develop some phone skillz, hahaha, not really, I need some courage to pick up the phone. I don't know why I care so much, I just need to be myself and stay laid back, after all, what is it? A contest? No. I just need to be me. That won't make much sense to very many people.

And I'm out. More later.